Happy Awkward Moments Day!
Seriously, it is. And I do mean you should be happy. Remember that time in school when you called the teacher “mum”? Or that time you said goodbye to a friend in the street and realised you were both going the same way, and walked along in awkward silence? How often have you lain awake at night, torturing yourself over moments like those, that were like, a million years ago?
Anxiety is a bitch, so you may as well make it your bitch
I wonder if our parents would change anything about the way they teased us as children, if they were to look back and realise that the child they were raising had enormous anxiety issues? I don’t mean it’s their fault; I’m not laying all the blame at our parents’ doorsteps here, we can be grown up and take a bit of responsibility; but I wonder how they’d feel? I used to lie awake at three and four years old, worrying about how to buy a house, and where my reading book had gone, because I’d put it down in class, and then it wasn’t there (miraculously it turned up in the right place next day, phew, thanks Miss Cahill). Seriously, scared and worrying at 3 years old about how to buy a house. And I never ask my parents because I never asked for help, so I’d just be anxious. I’m 49 now, still don’t know how to buy a house. Even though I’ve done it.
What are the awkward moments you agonise over?
See, here’s the thing. I know how anxiety works. I know it turns the dial up to 11. OMFG I shouldn’t have said that. Did I really do that in front of him/her…..and you know the only person who is worrying about this stuff right now is you? You are the only one who is battering yourself for making a minor misdemeanour turn into this big fecking badgal problem. No one else noticed. They were all to busy posting their food on Insta. I promise.
Anxiety makes us hyper aware and hyper responsible
It’s almost like having a superpower. It’s the shittest superpower you could have, but you know, beggars can’t be choosers with anxiety. But it gives you the longest memory for bad stuff that happened, that everyone else has either forgotten or didn’t even know about in the first place; and GOOD NEWS! with enough badgering, you can convince them this shiz actually happened, so you can feel good for 2 seconds, and then more anxious than ever.
You are more aware of how you look (fat and ugly), sound (stupid and basic) dress (omg have you seen that) and feel (I just can’t even). It also makes you believe that you are responsible for the good/bad times everyone around you is having and I’ve gotta tell you; no one is that good, or that bad. Maybe Robert Downey Jr. Not us though. So relax.
Awkward moments are awkward moments. They have power when we give them power. It’s ok to laugh them off. It’s great to laugh at ourselves. It’s such a relief to realise that we can all be a bit of a dick at times and laugh about it. That doesn’t keep you awake. That shit helps you sleep like a baby.
If your awkward moments are making you question your life, you REALLY need to talk to me. Let’s sort this out. You will get better, I’ll make sure you change the way you look at it all. And laugh.