I’m very keen on self-advocacy and campaigning for our own rights. It’s like basic self-first aid. We have the right to push for our beliefs and values and to be treated kindly, and the way we would treat others, and this should start with ourselves. I’m not talking about demanding an Instagrammable lifestyle, feeling that life is only bearable if we can have all the things. This is the self-entitled, gimme stuff of the wildest dreams. When I talk about self-advocacy, I mean the things that I know many people still have trouble with. Being kind to themselves, giving themselves grace, patience, and not pulling themselves down at every opportunity.
As some of you may know, I have Parkinson’s Disease, and I tried doing an easy Level 1 Hatha Yoga class a couple of days ago, and it nearly feckin killed me.
Now, I remember a time when asked to step forward on the mat, I couldn’t lift my left leg without picking it up with my hands, so we’re not quite back at that point. I’ve lost none of my flexibility, just a lot of strength. So, I’m going to be working on that, and going back to yoga more often, because I’ve realised it’s totally necessary for my wellbeing.
Yes, but what’s the point of all this Paula?
The point is, recognise how far you’ve come. It’s so tempting at this time of year to reflect back and think you’ve done bugger all, or maybe only made tiny steps, but you have every reason to be proud. My tiny step forward on the yoga mat was a big physical achievement I never thought I’d make.
I would really love it, if instead of thinking what’s wrong with us, we could start thinking what’s right with us….that’s a great way to build on resolutions you might be tempted to make….
What better excuse to take a few minutes out of your day and get stuck into one of your favourites for the sake of it? Or for self improvement? To learn a new skill, to remind yourself of something you used to love doing, but stopped, and you can’t remember why? My favourite escape when I was a kid was to read. I didn’t realise that I was autistic as a child, so reading was my refuge, and I would read till all hours, because I was unable to get to sleep and anxious as a result. So, I’m going to recommend some books, and let’s see if there’s anything that fits you here.
This is an actual thing. Well, the tug of war world championships are being held currently, but I bet there isn’t a person alive who doesn’t struggle with their own personal tug of war. That internal can I/can’t I struggle….am I allowed to do this? Am I good enough? Am I allowed to have this? It’s something we all go through, and it’s usually down to a feeling of guilt, trauma, or just plain old worth.
While I’m typing this, I’m sitting in the garden, trying to focus, while playing tug with my dog. Not an easy deal, as she puts a squeaky burger on to my chair every couple of minutes for me to throw, then changes her mind at the last minute and I have to wrestle it from her. So I’m torn. Do I play with her, or just get this piece written and published? I know the answer really, but she’s so cute, and I didn’t adopt her to ignore her. And so the argument goes on. And on. And on.
It’s not really a life changing argument, but it’s just one of many I have during my day. Of the 60 odd thousand thoughts that go through my head each day, it’s just one small example of the tug of war I’m playing against myself, against other people, but mostly with myself; and it can affect every area of my life, right from playing with the dog, to what to eat for dinner, to how much money I can spend on developing the business, how much it affects other people around me, and so on. There are so many fighting metaphors for this, and we wrestle with our subconscious every day and take so much out of ourselves to come up with something that seems reasonable to all sides of ourselves.
In hypnosis, I work with a lovely technique called Parts Therapy, where we call out all the parts of you that are in conflict, or trying to make a decision, or feel like they are in this tug of war. Usually, hard to believe though it may feel to you, they’re usually trying to reach the same outcome, just not all going about it the same way. We all, I suspect, have a part that likes to torture us before reaching a decision, making us feel terrible, making us believe it will have a terrible impact, and can’t see a solution; another part will have practical solutions we can call upon. One of my clients used to see it as a board meeting, which was a brilliant way of getting all the parts of his subconscious together, working for the same goal and all pulling in the same direction; no more tug of war, no conflict, just peace of mind.
If this sounds like you, then contact me,and let’s see how we can change your mind and help you live your best life. Nobody got time for that kind of conflict.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a patterjack who needs a squeaky burger chucking across the garden…..
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